escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
