At least make sure they are 18
Why
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize