Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
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