Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
