am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
