thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize