Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
