If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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