May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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