i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
