That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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