so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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