You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
