let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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