She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
