matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dignity is for republicans.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
