Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
