I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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