He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
