At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
