Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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