# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
