I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
