Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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