I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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