i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize