Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
