Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
