yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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