i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
