I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you would pick up someone in the library
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
