Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
