We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he was CRYING into my vagina
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
