yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
