Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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