I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
