census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
