why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
