I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
