My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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