He is such a slut. More and more my type.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize