I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
