you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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