I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
