i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
