When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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