i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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