Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
