Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
