So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
