I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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