I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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