I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
