Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My breasts were aching with rage.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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