all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
