I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
